Many people believe the cliché “some people will never change”. Dr. Kenneth Christian of Your Own Worst Enemy states you must believe that change is possible in order to change.
“Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t either way you are right.” Henry Ford
While Part I of Your Own Worst Enemy focuses on identifying a problem, Part II and III focus on understanding and implementing change. Dr. Christian provides relatable examples with guided personal exercises throughout the book. With a no nonsense, straightforward tone, he successfully delivers his message.
Some of my take-home messages from Your Own Worst Enemy…
Will change be easy? You would have already changed if it were easy. Change comes with self reflection, preparation, visualization, patience, repetition/practice, persistence, and time. Even when your efforts are having no evident outcome other than being a nuisance to your life, realize that change takes time. Setbacks are as normal as a baby falling down while learning to walk. Failure is essential for learning. It is easy to throw in the towel and give up after a setback; try to resist being so drastic. Dr. Christian states “When you accept failure as part of the growth you are less likely to be frustrated by setbacks and misinterpret them as proof of failure.”
Change happens though a series of phases…
- Pre-contemplation (recognizing there is a problem that needs change)
- Contemplation (acknowledging the problem and considering what you can do to change it)
- Preparation (change begins with small, important steps such as researching local gyms or planning healthy meals)
- Action (exercising at the gym and eating healthy meals)
- Maintenance (maintaining the healthy habits you have gained through the first 4 phases)
Are you waiting to be in the mood to change? Unfortunately, you may be waiting for a really long time. Failing to try is failing yourself. Everyone has let opportunities slip away. Avoid dwelling in regret and ignoring present opportunities. Thinking that you lost your only chance is a way to justify current inaction. Although you cannot change the past, you can alter the course of your life with present decisions and action.
Do you blame your lack of change on laziness? Everyone has the potential for laziness, along with the potential for determination and liveliness. Do not let laziness define you. According to Dr. Christian, “You do not have to be your own worst enemy.”
Overall, I believe many people (myself included) will benefit from reading this book. What books have you read that have really made a difference or changed your perspective?
